Getting over it

Daily I still think of how dh got let go. It still hurts and brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it. The company was a family owned company and touted itself on it's employees being like family. Besides how he was let go, it had felt like they cared, like they were more than just an employer. Like they actually cared about the people who worked for them. It just hurts.

I'd take Josie into visit or to drop something off, pick something up, etc about once a month. They've seen Josie grow up. Last time I had gone in was to show Oli off after having him. Some of the employees were out to lunch and never got to see him.

They had family freindly things at the office. Josie would go around every holloween office to office for treats. They'd have christmas exchanges, basketball/football pools. They'd have a company picnic each summer at a park with swimming and tons of fun. Josie was going to love it this year. I was so looking forward to taking her.

It's like a family member betrayed you or something. How they let him go and strung him along was just anything but thinging of him as a family member.

I can't help but think if I didn't have Oli then dh would still have a job. Not that it'd be worth for one milisecond not to have that boy, but it's probably true. Pregnancy, especially at the end was stressful beyond believe. I took much out on dh. Then when I went over I was even more stressed. Then with having him with MIL saying for only 1/2 a week and not helping this time I was even more of a bitch to deal with. Then the whole adjusting to two kids... OMG dh would come home daily and I'd just cry and yell and say I needed a break from them.

I knew others said going from one to two was hard, but I didn't think it'd be that bad. Not that it changes anything now, but I just keep thinking, had I only not taken it all out on Dh, he might still have a job. Yes he would have still had to deal with the not getting a week off before the new year, and having to do 2 people's jobs for 6 months, but if it was only that, not paired with a new baby and a wife going crazy at home, I think he would have been fine. It was just way too much on a person at once.

While I understand not wanting to start a new business with a person not 100% there mentally, it just hurts when someone does that who you felt were family friendly.

I know his old boss and his wife donate TONS of money to area charities, which is good...since we have to now tap into them.

I wonder if he even cares? Did it even phase him what he did to dh and then in turn to our family? Does he even realize it?

Well I know he realizes it whether he likes it or not. Because I pretty much told him. Dh was promised files of his work he did there. After weeks of not getting them I finally sent an email to the old boss pleading and explaining exactly why it's important to get the files and get a job. I just sent yet another one because the pervious intern now full time employee missed giving dh all the files. After dh trying a few times to let her know without a response, he finally gave up. I'm a tad more persistant and went back to the boss to let him know what happened...the chick emailed dh asking for what he was missing one day later. DH has no clue I wrote to the old boss, however, everytime I do the response is within 24 hours, so the point must be getting across.

the system

So if it was only dh's unemployment income, we'd qualify for food stamps, both of us on medicaid and maybe some more things.... but we wouldn't make enough to pay all the bills then.

So I need to find an evening job to cover the remaining portion of the bills and cover the additional bill of cobra for me and dh. I know many go without cobra, but I know our luck. Our luck would mean something happens to one of us and then being in real trouble.

Want to know what sucks? Unemployment still hasn't started. Technically it has, but they hold 4 weeks back and pay it at a lump sum at the end, then start paying week to week...thankfully we are paid on the house until sept or else we'd really be in trouble.

So I need to get a job. Right... easier said than done. I'm anxiously waiting on a job at a friggin pizza joint in town for minimum wage. And competing with others who are far younger, with no kids. I am well over qualified for the position with 10 years food eperience.

Unemployment world

Totally sucks. Thankfully he was given 4 weeks severence. But it doesn't amount to a lot in this economy. This is week 3 already. He's applied for more than 50 jobs and has barely heard anything back. He had one interview from a company that heard he was out and knew he was talented so wanted to see if they could use him... But they don;t have enough work for one person, nor would be able to match the pay he was getting.
He has a call tomarrow with a recruiter that found him. No clue what the job is yet, so it could be something totally unrelated.
He has an interview for another job on Monday. It's for a fabric and craft place, but it's located 3 hours away from where we are, on the other side of the state.
While I do not like the little town we live in or our house, I like the town we are next to that we go in a lot. It has low crime, great schools, tons of stuff to go to, great parks, etc. We are 1 hour from my parents and just under 2 hours from his.
The 3 hour away place would mean being by no one we know, my family being 2 hours and 45 min, his being 3 hours and 30 min. Then we'd have to sell this house, which i'd doubt would sell. I'd doubt we'd get approved to buy another house, so we'd be stuck renting.

I have 3 applications for jobs in my town - 2 pizza and one gas station. When it's just unemplyment it'll not be enough to pay th bills and get things like food or gas for the car. I need to make 800+$ for paying all bills and food/gas.

In a way I'm pissed at his old boss. However, I'm getting pissed at dh. He couldn't pull it together. Now he's not stressed (well comparativly since now he's got to worry about finding a job). But I keep thinking if he could have just pulled it together he would still have a job. He just totally let me down. I think in the end he was let go because he couldn't cut it, he couldn't handle it... now we are left to deal with it. Now I have to take care of the kids then get a night job. Now we have to worry about having enough money to pay bills, put food on the table. Then having to deal with probably having to move whereever he finds work. And the thought of moving farther away from family, away from everything I've know my entire life. This at 1 hour away is the farthest i've lived from where I was born and grew up.

I hate change and it seems like everything is changing now and more change coming. I'm scared and resistant to it.

I wish this were just a bad dream and I'd wake up and he'd still have a job at the same place and we could go back to living our lives.

Dh's job

Since the last time I've posted I've had baby Oliver Grant. The big boy was 9#! Born on April 23 at 11:30pm.

When I was due dh would constantly be begging me to go into labor because his job was getting to overwhelm him. In dec the other fultime person quit and they never replaced her yet so dh was tired of working doing 2 jobs. After Oli came they hired in the intrern to a full time position. They then were piling more work on him from the existing job and this new markting company the boss was spining off his department into. He came home in horrible moods, crying a lot and just overwhelmed still. I just kept saying he had to pull it together. That in this economy he should be thankful for a job and thankful for the exciting aspect of getting to be doing some different things after the company started...

The Friday before the company is to start he's pulled into a meeting with the boss. Who explains they want people who will be able to give 100% starting off the company, dh is too burnt out, thanks for your time, turn in your keys. Officially, he's told it's down as his department was eliminated.

I'm still shocked they did it. They had told him nermerous times not to worry, he'd have a job, even if the copany failed they'd return him to what he was perviously doing. He could have been looking for a job for MONTHS! But no, they lied and just him, and made him do the job of 2 people for moths, then burnt him out and threw him away when they were done. It hurts that someone could do that to another person.

It's like they didn't even view him as a person with a family, with a life. It didn't matter to them.