He's at it again...
When I got home from working Curt was so exhausted he said. So I suggested he and Josie take a nap. Well Josie watched bolt in the bedroom while curt took a 2 hour nap.
After waking I asked if I could get a nap for a bit. He said no he had to get in the shower and look for a job...
right....thanks
I asked him later when do I get my nap? He said when he gets to go see a movie by himself.
This sat and sun he took the kids to the inlaws and christmas with great grandma and extended family on Sunday. I had to work so I didn't get to go. We had a ton of movie ticket we had got for free and curt had even given me some as a gift one year. I figured he hated the Twilight series so I went and saw New Moon by myself (for free).
So I asked, was I not allowed to see the movie. He said no, when did he ever get to see a movie by himself? I told him he got to see about 5 movies with just him and Josie.
Whatever dude, I see no reason I can't go out and see a movie when I'm already missing Christmas gatherings. Well I know his reason I can't. Because I was supposed to be at home cleaning the house for his parents that are coming over on Christmas. (that he never bothered asking me about, he just assumed we'd do the same as other years...and he assumed we'd go all out and make a turkey and everything!!! I told him no food, period. We don;t have enough money to buy cheese, there is no way i'm using money to feed his family when they make plenty of money).
And I tried to ask about everyone and everything and he said it was fine and just ok. I spent almost 3 hours yesterday having to ask specific questions to hear how their weekend went. Even then he was distracted every 10 seconds.
I asked when they got home if he brought me any leftover food - no. His grandmother makes fudge, caramels and popcorn balls each year. I asked if he at least brought me a caramel - no He didn't think of me at all.
Then he told me that I'm messing up the kids schedule by not going to bed when I'm supposed to. I told him I didn't know I had a time I had to get into bed and that last night I stayed up to talk about how their weekend was and find out everything they did. He said yes, I'm supposed to be in bed by 7:15 or it messes with their schedules too much. I reminded him it messes with their schedules where I work and my hours with change constantly from opening to closing.
He's just been a great joy today, blaming me for everything it seems.
Oh crap it's 7:21 - I better get in bed before I get yelled at....roll eyes
12.21.2009
12.20.2009
That felt so good!!!
The owners of work sometimes are a bit cold-hearted. Another lady with kids ages 10, 3, and 9 months normally works mornings. She was told when hired in she'd have to work every other weekend. For the past 3 month she had been on every weekend. She wrote a note to the one who does the scheduling. Her note stated she was told she only had to work every other weekend when hired in and she's been on the schedule each weekend. It ended with change this... While I understand they were upset with the note, I have a hard time being ok with what they did.
The scheduling owner took her off the next two week schedule entirly, and never once said a word to the lady. The week before and of christmas! She was going to use that money to buy her kids presents. Her husband had lost her job and they've been horribly off. They had no money to turn on the heat even. They contacted a local group who paid the bill for them.
Her sister is the other assistant manager there. She told me she felt bad for her sister because she had no money for the kids presents, but she didn't have anyway to help her out herself even.
It just broke my heart to hear that she had nothing for her kids for christmas.
We were graciously given 5 bags of toys and stuff recently for christmas. Many duplicates were in the bags. I had already had some stuff wrapped for others, but pulled out what I could for them. I found 2 large stuffed animals and one small, 2 big books, 2 activity books, a puzzle. The 3 year old would have plenty, the baby could get a stuffed animal. The 10 year old I had nothing for. I found a snowman that was given one year to us with a gift card in the bag around his neck. I just was given some money from my parents and took 10$ out to give to her son. I even put in 2 nice smelling glass candles, a photo album and a christmas ice cube tray for her.
I went back to work and gave it to her sister. She was in awe and thanked me many times over. I wish I had more to give. I had tears in my eyes while leaving and the sister was calling her to let her know what I left.
I hope it helps her out some so she and her kids can have a Merry christmas. She was such a hard worker and a kind lady that I didn't want them to have nothing.
Smile
The scheduling owner took her off the next two week schedule entirly, and never once said a word to the lady. The week before and of christmas! She was going to use that money to buy her kids presents. Her husband had lost her job and they've been horribly off. They had no money to turn on the heat even. They contacted a local group who paid the bill for them.
Her sister is the other assistant manager there. She told me she felt bad for her sister because she had no money for the kids presents, but she didn't have anyway to help her out herself even.
It just broke my heart to hear that she had nothing for her kids for christmas.
We were graciously given 5 bags of toys and stuff recently for christmas. Many duplicates were in the bags. I had already had some stuff wrapped for others, but pulled out what I could for them. I found 2 large stuffed animals and one small, 2 big books, 2 activity books, a puzzle. The 3 year old would have plenty, the baby could get a stuffed animal. The 10 year old I had nothing for. I found a snowman that was given one year to us with a gift card in the bag around his neck. I just was given some money from my parents and took 10$ out to give to her son. I even put in 2 nice smelling glass candles, a photo album and a christmas ice cube tray for her.
I went back to work and gave it to her sister. She was in awe and thanked me many times over. I wish I had more to give. I had tears in my eyes while leaving and the sister was calling her to let her know what I left.
I hope it helps her out some so she and her kids can have a Merry christmas. She was such a hard worker and a kind lady that I didn't want them to have nothing.
Smile
12.19.2009
I think this:
www.divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/pass_agg.htm
fits curt to a T.
I'm living in a cycle that I can only break when I have enough courage to finally do so.
I was shocked (but I assume you guys who read this are not) but how much he fits this.
I have been going to the women's group once a week - well it's off for 3 weeks due to christmas now. But, I go and sit and listen to the other women talk. They are all away or trying to divorce thier abusers. And there I sit listening...
I always think of how bad thier situation is and that I don;t have it so bad. That I shouldn't be going there. That what he does isn't so bad. I wonder why I'm there. I think I shouldn't be there. I think I shouldn't leave him because everyone will just think i'm nuts and have no good reason and look at me like I'm stupid and selfish for leaving.
Then I read the website above and it totally fit him almost every word in it. And I think, Am I crazy? I feel like I must be crazy.
Half the time I think we are saying the same thing to eachother. As in the frustrations... Makes me think, this isn't all his fault. I'm to blame as well. Maybe I'm just as bad as him? What if I'm worse? What if this is all me? Like I said I'm crazy. I can't see anything straight anymore. I don;t know if this is just him getting me to think this way and think i'm crazy, or if it's true. I just don;t know anymore
www.divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/pass_agg.htm
fits curt to a T.
I'm living in a cycle that I can only break when I have enough courage to finally do so.
I was shocked (but I assume you guys who read this are not) but how much he fits this.
I have been going to the women's group once a week - well it's off for 3 weeks due to christmas now. But, I go and sit and listen to the other women talk. They are all away or trying to divorce thier abusers. And there I sit listening...
I always think of how bad thier situation is and that I don;t have it so bad. That I shouldn't be going there. That what he does isn't so bad. I wonder why I'm there. I think I shouldn't be there. I think I shouldn't leave him because everyone will just think i'm nuts and have no good reason and look at me like I'm stupid and selfish for leaving.
Then I read the website above and it totally fit him almost every word in it. And I think, Am I crazy? I feel like I must be crazy.
Half the time I think we are saying the same thing to eachother. As in the frustrations... Makes me think, this isn't all his fault. I'm to blame as well. Maybe I'm just as bad as him? What if I'm worse? What if this is all me? Like I said I'm crazy. I can't see anything straight anymore. I don;t know if this is just him getting me to think this way and think i'm crazy, or if it's true. I just don;t know anymore
12.16.2009
A Christmas Party
The organization for DV I've been going to weekly for meetings had a christmas party for all their clients. I decided to go and take the kids.
We get there and the kids are ok, Josie acted up a bit, but wasn't too horrible.
I notice that dh's old boss was there and only then did it occur to me that he's on the Board of Directors for this organization...lovely. DH doesn't know that I go to this place. And I can totally see this guy telling others I was there. True people use this organization for a variety of reasons, but I'm sure he'd probably not gleem dh in a good light.It's mostly all confidential there so I doubt he'd say nothing, but i wouldn't put it past him. Especially since dh is looking for a job and all. Seeing as they know a LOT of the same people and everything, just might be a bad thing.
Anyways
They had dinner. It was a very nice variety of foods. Then they had tons of crafts for the kids. Then they had Santa come and each kid got to sit on his lap. They then were each given a stuffed animal and a book. They had a bunch of food and pop left over so they bagged it up for people to take, so we got some of that. Then they said they had gift bags for everyone. That was super nice I thought! :)
So I go to the room to get the bag for me and the kids. They had boxes out of blanket and big stuffed animals the kids could take so i got a blanket for each (handmade quilts) and a animal for josie. They went and got our bags. They came back with 5 (!!!!) large garbage bags full of things! One bag for each of us and then an extra bag for each kid!!! OMG!! I asked if they were serious?! They said they had tons and happy holidays. And we should feel free to give some things to family and friends. They carried it to the car even.
After getting home and getting the kids to dh i went through the bags in my room. WOW, just WOW! Tons of toys, blankets, stuffed animals for the kids. Plus a bag of bath items, picture frame, and more for me! WOW! I'm just in awe of the kindness and generosity of people. We weren't going to have much of a christmas. I got a few useful items from a group, but most were things like clothes and items that weren't toys. I'm just in shock. We got so much stuff that the kids have toys for christmas, i'll set stuff aside for their birthday's and I have more to give to Niece's and other kids in our family.
People are wonderful and so very kind. I'm so thankful!
We get there and the kids are ok, Josie acted up a bit, but wasn't too horrible.
I notice that dh's old boss was there and only then did it occur to me that he's on the Board of Directors for this organization...lovely. DH doesn't know that I go to this place. And I can totally see this guy telling others I was there. True people use this organization for a variety of reasons, but I'm sure he'd probably not gleem dh in a good light.It's mostly all confidential there so I doubt he'd say nothing, but i wouldn't put it past him. Especially since dh is looking for a job and all. Seeing as they know a LOT of the same people and everything, just might be a bad thing.
Anyways
They had dinner. It was a very nice variety of foods. Then they had tons of crafts for the kids. Then they had Santa come and each kid got to sit on his lap. They then were each given a stuffed animal and a book. They had a bunch of food and pop left over so they bagged it up for people to take, so we got some of that. Then they said they had gift bags for everyone. That was super nice I thought! :)
So I go to the room to get the bag for me and the kids. They had boxes out of blanket and big stuffed animals the kids could take so i got a blanket for each (handmade quilts) and a animal for josie. They went and got our bags. They came back with 5 (!!!!) large garbage bags full of things! One bag for each of us and then an extra bag for each kid!!! OMG!! I asked if they were serious?! They said they had tons and happy holidays. And we should feel free to give some things to family and friends. They carried it to the car even.
After getting home and getting the kids to dh i went through the bags in my room. WOW, just WOW! Tons of toys, blankets, stuffed animals for the kids. Plus a bag of bath items, picture frame, and more for me! WOW! I'm just in awe of the kindness and generosity of people. We weren't going to have much of a christmas. I got a few useful items from a group, but most were things like clothes and items that weren't toys. I'm just in shock. We got so much stuff that the kids have toys for christmas, i'll set stuff aside for their birthday's and I have more to give to Niece's and other kids in our family.
People are wonderful and so very kind. I'm so thankful!
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