Charity

I'm thankful that the main city in my county has great charity resources. Everytime I go to the food pantry I just get depressed and end up in tears. Today at the pantry on of the workers recognized me (as curt's wife). It's someone who before now didn't realize how bad off we are. On one hand it's embarassing. I feel like I shouldn't be in this situation and I should be able to make money for my family. However, with both myself and Curt looking daily for a job, I know how hard it is out there right now.

I never realized how hard it was out there now. I heard how bad the economy is, but never knew until we were thrust into unemployement and into the poverty level what it was like.

Today I had to take Oli and Josie with me and the wait wa longer than normal. We got there at 8am and didn't even get the food to the car until 12:30. Poor Josie had it at 11am and just was yelling and sreaming and crying. She was begging, mamma I just want to go home, please. How do you explain to a three year old you have to get food and wait until it's your turn. She doesn't get it. She's three. To her pennies look pretty and are worth more than that paper money.

Some wonderfully nice ladies came out to the hallway where I took her so she wouldn't disturb everyone. One tried to talk with Josie to calm down, which made her worse. The other offered her a book to take. When the lady gave me the book for josie, josie took it from my hands with tears running down her face saying to give the lady the book back mama.

Finally one lady went into the nursery area and grabbed 2 bananas, rasins, crackers and a chewy bar for Josie. She ate it all. I can't believe how hungry she was. I didn't even realize it and she didn't ask for anything to eat. Poor girl.

Tomorrow the same church is having a free community meal. So we'll be back with Curt this time and hopefully Josie will be better.