how ironic then that one file of mine that I kept track of things between myself and curt is suddenly not readable?!?
so i think anything i'll double and triple post places so i might have a copy of stuff somewhere.
"in laws
Posted 25 Dec 2009
I've alwaysgotten along with the in laws, normally really good... I've just about had it with them this year.
We went down for 2 days at thanksgiving. Curt decided since we wouldn't know my work schedule until last minute and it's easier to get back and forth to my family 1 hour away instead of his who is 2 hours away. Great.
Origionally their christmas was going to be on sat 12-26, and grandma's down there with his extended family was on 12-27. Grandma decided at the last minute to change and have her's instead on 12-20. So Curt takes the kids down for 2 days and spends time with his family and grandparents and everything. Then we all go down on Tuesday and just came home Thursday night. So his mother then bitches that she's so upset because she doeesn't get to have us there for Chirstmas (with his immediate fam on 12-26). She even posts on facebook how upset she is her son had to change plans...
OMG woman! We not only had been there 2 days for thanksgiving, 2 days for grandma's christmas, 3 days, plus they were here today for christmas!!! We will see my family for less than 24 hours. So she didn't get all pissy we told her I had to work sat morning so we couldn't go down there. She had the balls to say to curt that he should just come with the kids then! Dude, my family wants to see the kids too, ya know?! He said no because we'd be oing to my family on sunday and it'd be too hard on the kids traveling in the car that much. He doesn't have balls to say we're going to my extended family on sat and my immediate family on sun. I too know she'd bitch that she told us a year ago when they were having christmas so we sould be there.
I don;t care if I see them for a long time.
Oh yea and I guess she's pissed at us because she bought us a Wii over the summer before curt lost his job. Well he had different games on his list and questioned if he had a wii. I told her that I thought she was getting us one. I guess we were supposed to forget about it and she told me that maybe we wouldn't get it then. So when we were opening presents from them they got me nothing. They got curt things and everything else said kids on it. They didn't even have the Wii downstairs and acted like all the presents were done. Then a good 10 minutes of me playing with the kids and their toys his mom tells his dad to get it from upstairs. So he gets it and hands it to curt saying merry christmas. So who knows if it was for both of us. His sister did give my some recordable voice postcards and an ornament hand maker for oli. I'd rather the kids have the gifts anyways though.interesting read
Posted 18 Nov 2009
I happened to stumble across this. This is my husband's blog. A little insiteful, a little interesting on his train of thought...
http://nouveau-poor.blogspot.com/
some things irk me a little, some a lot, some touch my heart
Mind you he write well, but never has talked that well. When speaking he thinks for like 5 minutes before spitting it out. Communication is always so frustrationg and aganizing for me with him. He write good though and maybe why we seem to many times previously just have email communication.
anywayswhat i woke to this morning in my inbox
Posted 5 Nov 2009
"I was hoping you'd stay up a little tonight after Josie went to sleep.
I wanted to talk to you.
I just wanted to say I was sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry I lost
my job. Sorry I can can't find a new one. Sorry we're in this mess.
I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I let this whole family down.
This whole thing just sucks so much right now and I don't know what to
do. And the longer this goes on the more we're at each other and I
don't like it.
I know I don't say it or show it enough but I do appreciate the crazy
stupid hours you work for next to nothing. It's just the the harder
you have to work the worse I feel.
I miss you. I really do. Yeah we were never great at spending time
together after Josie went to bed, but at least we could. We don't get
5 minutes alone anymore. 5 minutes to just sit near each other.
I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of looking for a job.
I'm tired of feeling this way all the time. I'm tired of feeling like
a total failure at everything every minute of every day.
I just .. I don't know. I just wanted you know I hate myself right now
as much as you hate me. I know it sucks and I know I'm to blame. And
I'm trying hard not to wallow in it but it so exhausting. I just want
it to be over. I just want this nightmare to end. I don't want to
worry. I don't want to cancel christmas. I don't want to be this.
I'm sorry. I really Am."
The whole I'm tired crap is the same crap he pulled back when right before he lost his job. When every day i'd explain he still had a job and somehow he had to get through it because it was better than no job. I guess he's still tired...
That is the first time he's ever taken blame for anything. Though my guess is he either saw something or knows who i'm actually meeting later today. This is his grasping at hope to keep me here. This is him trying to be nice and woo me that he'll be nice...
Mind you right before this email I know he was on the verge and he'd have one of his tiraids soon. So he must have seen something or heard something.He told Josie
Posted 3 Nov 2009
Yesterday i worked. Walked in the door and was handed kids so curt could get ont he computer. I played and had a great time with them both all day. Me and Josie had a great time together. We sang songs, i told her a nursery rhytm, did a chicken dance, danced to music, read books, colored and tons more. She was in a great mood the entire time. He finally gets done and starts dinner. It was something you leave on stove and can do over things until done. I asked if he could watch the kids so i could pee and jump on the computer quick before dinner. He said no.
So i finally got on the computer anyways (well before i did pee). So I was on the computer for maybe 2 minutes and Josie comes to tell me dinner's ready. I said i'd be there in a little bit. (I was typing up a post in my blog.) I get done and go out to dinner.
Josie says to me, "mommy you don;t like to spend time with me" I said WHAT?! She repeated it and informed me daddy told her that! So because i didn't jump up and run to dinner and was 2 minutes late he's now telling Josie I don;t like to spend time with her?!
I told him not to do that. He informed me that I do it to him all the time... Uhm totally no. He was on the computer leaving the kids in the other room for hours by themselves. He'd gfo out to Oli and leave Josie to whatever she found. n He admitted to not spending time with her. Totally different. And I wasn't saying it to her!
Later I tried to explain to Josie that no matter what others say I love to spend time with her and she should always remember that. I said do not believe them if they tell you i don;t like spending time. She replied, yeah, daddy said that. I tried hard not to actually say don;t believe daddy, but I don;t want her to not believe him for other things he might say.
I just can't believe he's pinning her against me. If this is how he is when we are in the same house, I can only imagine how it'll be when we are seperated. Wonderful. I hope the kids don;t believe it all. Totally not fair to them"
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